The Hope and Care FoundationThe Hope and Care Foundation

As we gather here today, we are here to celebrate life, and each of us, are here to celebrate the life of a loved one that we have lost during this past year.  As we look around at the beautiful nature that surrounds us, nature itself can offer us a picture of our experience through the seasons of change that we have and will continue to experience.

One of nature’s most beautiful scenes is a river running its course.  As that river runs its course, it forever changes the environment that surrounds it.  As we sit here on this beautiful fall day, we can all testify that we have been forever changed through the experience of sharing life with our loved one, and through our experience of the loss of that life.  Our world will forever be different!

As each of you entered today, you were given a stone.  These are the type of stones that you may find at the bottom of a river.  These stones did not start out being smooth.  They started out with rugged and jagged edges, and yet as they endured the constant running of the river, they became smooth and their beauty enhanced.  I remind you that as you experience the turbulent waters of your grief, and your loss, you too will be smoothed, and your beauty as a person will be enhanced.  One last gift, that your loved one offers you.

Each of the stones that you were given has a word edged within it.  Hopefully, the word on the stone that you received, will be a word that offers you hope and encouragement.  I would like to choose seven of these words, to help us navigate the turbulent waters that you will experience through your season of grief.

Celebrate – Celebrate your river of life experience.  Celebrate the life that you shared with your loved one.  Celebrate the gift of who they were and the gift of each day that you shared with them.  Celebrate the difference that they made in your life.  Celebrate!

Share – Share your river stories.  Tell the stories about your life together.  Your stories are honoring to your loved one, and the telling of the stories, as painful as they may be at times, are also a part of your own healing process.  Expression is a key ingredient of the healing process.  Share!

Accept – Accept the reality of your loss.  Acceptance is not where you end, it is where you begin.  When we can truly accept that our world has forever been changed by our loss, we can move to the next step which is, “Now what”.  Now what are my choices and options that will allow me to move on in my life.  Accept!

Feel – Feel the experience and impact of the river.  The only way to get through grief, is to go through it.  Experiencing and expressing the emotions associated with grief, will slowly move you on through the course that the process of grief recovery tends to be.  Jesus said in the Beatitudes, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”  You have and will experience a myriad of emotions along the way.  Feel!

Discover – Discover the section of the river that flows past the rapids.  In the midst of the rapids, it feels like you will not and cannot survive.  Yet, the river does flow on past the rapids, and smooth waters do exist downstream.  Eventually, life does surface again and you can discover that there will be new opportunities and adventures beyond the rough waters that characterize the early days, weeks, and months of grief.  You are alive and there is still much of life yet to be experienced.  Discover!

Trust – Trust that the river indeed does have a course.  Although grief does follow a course, it is not a predictable course.  Often, during the course of healing and recovery, you find yourself going backwards.   You may often say to yourself, “I should be further along than this”, and yet just as a river meanders its way along its course, you will find your way.  Trust also that you do not have to navigate the river alone.  It may feel that way at times and yet, trust that you can find others to support you and trust in your God to sustain you when the river feels unsustainable.  Trust!

Inspire – Inspire others through your own experience of the river.  As you navigate the rough as well as the smooth waters that are associated with the loss of a loved one, you gain valuable experience that can be offered to others as they enter the new waters of their river experience.  At times the best way to move to the next stage of your own healing experience is to see the needs of others, and see what we can do to help them, whether their needs are associated with grief or some other need.  One of the greatest ways to offer your loved one a lasting gift is to become a gift to others.  Your own survival of the river experience that grief can be, can be an inspiration to others.

My prayer for each of you would be, that regardless of where you may find yourself along the waters of the river of grief, that you would experience Grace, Grace sufficient to Celebrate the life you have shared, the life you have lost, and the life will continue to discover!